Friday, April 11, 2014
What's Up, Doc?
Damn, it's like a fucking ghost town here. I've made stops here every now and then but haven't paid it too much special attention.
Life. The bastard gets in the way.
In the last few months I've been super busy with, you guessed it, work...prepping for baseball season is the worst, learning to deal/cope with a severely depressed mother, an attention whore of an adorable little dog and trying to get knocked up.
That's right, this belly needs a baby in it! Hear that universe? I said it. Actually I've been saying it for the last few months and still nothing has happened. Fuck you universe.
There have been tears, I have told myself "it'll happen when it happens" and still...nothing happens. Stupid body.
I finally went to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist last month, she ran tons of tests to find out what's going on...did I really have PCOS? Turns out, I do and I don't. *eye roll*
All of my tests were on the border so she didn't feel comfortable labeling me PCOS...instead she went with "your ovaries are dumb". Ok, not literally. But basically one of my ovaries is a healthy 31 years old and always on schedule, the other not so much. The other one is on the verge of 45 and headed for retirement so it's slow as shit.
Hello lack of ovulation, I'm Lin.
Good news is, she didn't want to waste any of my possibly limited birthing days (a no bullshit kinda doc, I instantly dug her), so she ordered me to start with a combo of Clomid (pills) and Menopur (injectable). All of which I started a few days ago. I'm a little nervous about the shot I have to give myself on Sunday but fuck it, if it gets me a kid, I'm game.
To be completely honest, when I first visited the doctor I had super high hopes, now, I've let that hope dwindle a little bit. Not that it's been easy. But the way I figure it, if I have low expectations then I won't be completely crushed if it doesn't happen this cycle. I'm realistic, nothing in life can be completely easy.
It's like they say, you have to really work for the things you want.