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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

You Shouldn't Play With Fire...


When I was little my mom would warn me, "dont get to close to that stove or you'll burn yourself", and guess what, when I didnt listen, I got burned.

As we get older, most of us tend to be smarter than we were as kids and not get so close to the hot ass stove. Others, well, they just don't learn as easily. For example...Rihanna.

This chick got the shit beat out of her by her hip hop boyfriend nearly 3 years ago and just last week they were spotted holding hands, being all lovey dovey again.

What. The. Fuck.

I get that we all make mistakes. I make them all the time, like running a red light this morning but these mistakes don't usually include using your girlfriends face as a damn punching bag.

Domestic violence is no laughing matter; it's serious fucking business. But when you have a victim that keeps going back to the same person that abused her, isn't she just asking to get burned?

It's sad that not even the image of your battered face being plastered all over the interweb is enough of a reminder for you to stay the fuck away from that mofo. Could it be stockholm syndrome? Maybe. It's just too bad that some people aren't strong enough to stay away from something that can hurt you so badly.

I think what pisses me off most is the fact that there are young girls out there looking up to this woman and she's basically telling them it's OK for a dude to kick your ass as long as he goes to a few counseling sessions, says he's 'sorry', and gets a busted ass tattoo of your beat up face on the side of his neck.

Hopefully he won't hurt her again but I'm just saying it now, if (when) he does, I'm sure as hell not gonna be surprised. After all, you're the only that can help put a stop to the cuts & bruises.


14 comments:

  1. If only it were so simple.

    I never understood it either. My parents taught me that you don't put up with abuse. I was worth more than that. I had value and anyone who ever told me differently wasn't worth it. I never experienced domestic violence. Never. My parents' marriage was rocky, but they never hit each other.

    It wasn't until I got married and watched my MIL go through it that I understood that it goes so much deeper. So much. She had a dysfunctional upbringing and I think to her, that kind of abuse was normal. I think in a lot of ways, she felt she deserved it. She was on her third marriage by the time I met my husband. He was a tyrant. I never liked him. And later I found out I had plenty of reason.

    Eventually she left. Three months later, she went back. It took her discovering his infidelity (and as it turned out, child porn) that finally made her leave for good. But it took years and us finally telling her that our children couldn't be in her care as long as she was with him.

    It is amazing to me that a superstar feels like she is worth so little (although, if you've seen some of her photos, you have to wonder if she thinks she's worth anything at all). It's sad. And I hope that at some point, she figures it out. Because, that guy...he's evil and if she's not careful it'll be more than her face next time.

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    1. You're so right. Sometimes this type of behavior stems from something much deeper, it's so sad. I'm glad your MIL got out when she did.

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  2. TOTALLY FREAKING AGREE. it pisses me off so bad!!!

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  3. I was in a relationship for six years, and I was abused for 4.5 years of the relationship. The worst part was it happened when I was 15-22. He was my everything, my first everything.

    I left after four years and went back six months later and finally two years later I left. It took so much to leave and the I went back and my friends and family hated my decision. He kept telling me he was sorry and he would never do it again. I believed him. You live on that hope, what you think is love and he's your life (or so you think). He breaks you down to make you think nobody would love you the way he does, and nobody will want you. I could go on, but I'll stop.

    Hopefully she gets her shit together before he kills her.

    I really do hate that young girls look up to her. They will see this and think its okay for guys to do this to them.

    end of rant.

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    1. Wow. Thanks for sharing your story JJ. It's always nice to hear firsthand why someone would go back to that type of relationship. It's easy for me to judge since I've never lived it so I'm glad you didnt take it personal or feel like I was attacking abuse victims.

      Thank jeebus you wised up & got your ass outta there cause you're amazing & deserve to be treated like a princess :)

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  4. I think that when you are in the lime light like that, you have a responsibility that is more than yourself. It sucks, but that is what you signed up for. That means that I don't care how much you think you want to be with that person, he fucking beat you, and you can't. BECAUSE GIRLS DO LOOK UP TO YOU, dumbass.

    I understand the cycle of abuse more than I care to divulge, but when you are a celebrity like her, you have a responsibility more than yourself.

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  5. My mother was/has been a victim of domestic violence for years. I've never understood it, but I do remember asking her once why she stayed with this particular man who couldn't hold a job, took the money she made at her 2 jobs and hit her repeatedly. And she turned to me and said "Because I'm scared."

    I think the situation is different from Rihanna since she had left Chris already, but the thing is - you never know what that person is thinking unless you are that person. So it's hard for me to personally judge a person based on it, I disagree with it full-heartedly. In fact, when my husband (then boyfriend) and I started dating one of the fist things I told him was 'If he laid a hand on me, I was gone.' And he tells me stills remembers that.
    I came to find out my mom had been abused as a child, so I think that has some bearing on the situation she found herself in (repeatedly, not just with one man) and she didn't feel like she was enough.
    Anyway, I do agree with you that I think it's crappy at what Rihanna is saying okay by being with him to young girls.

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  6. You're absolutely right. Her self esteem must be in the gutter. But it will be hard to feel sorry for her if/when it happens again. And I'm leaning toward it WILL.

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  7. I hate that she's back with him, especially because he keeps proving he hasn't changed. No, not abusive yet, but that's a bit YET, because I feel like it will happen again. I hope she does get away from him soon. I've never been through this so I don't know personally, either, but it's just horrible to watch.

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  8. Who one you could deliver the news on your blog!? I had no idea she was back with him! So sad for her! I have experienced domestic violence first hand and know it takes a lot for the abused to leave! Imagine what a role model she would be if she left!? What a let down!

    -Simone

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  9. Ugh what a let down! She truly has the potential to set such an example to all those who are abused! Sad that she has not been more strong!

    -Simone

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  10. Um, thank you. I've lost any respect I had for her because you know she has people telling her to stay away from him and she just won't wake up. I really hate him.

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  11. I totally agree with you. I was so proud of her - both for taking care of herself and for setting a strong example for all her young fans. I hadn't heard about this (or the neck tattoo - are you fucking KIDDING me??) and I'm very disappointed.

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  12. It really makes me sad and I can't understand it. I wish I could help her. The poor girl! I hope he will behave this time!

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