Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Tan Lines = Pain In The Ass

You see these horrid tan lines?

Yeah, that's me. Obviously.

Or maybe not so obvious. Either way, now you know :)

Needless to say these fucking tan lines are super ugly & have been there for like ever. Probably. Honestly, I don't really know because I almost never wear these types of dresses.

But, in exactly 2.5 weeks I'm going to be in a wedding that requires me to wear a strapless dress, like the one in the photo and I need to rectify this double color situation before then. Only thing is, I don't like the sun  cause it burns & makes me sweat like a fatty and I'm to broke for those tanning places.

I know, I'm not really leaving too many other options except of course those self tanning lotions you can do at home. 

I've given it a lot of thought (not really, I mostly just ran out of time) & I think that's the route I'm gonna go cause I'm cheap & lazy. However, I'm horrified that I might come out looking like freakin' burnt carrot. 

So if you've ever tried a self tanning thing-a-ma-jig I'd really appreciate your advice on what you used & how not too make myself look like a scary ass oopma loopma. 

I've heard (via reliable youtube) L'Oreal's Sublime Bronze Tinted Self Tanning LotionNeutrogena's Sun Fresh Sunless Tanning Lotion are pretty good. If you've tried either (or others) I'd love to get your input.

So yeah, help a two-toned girl out.



  1. My sister uses the Loreal one. It can get orangey if you're not paying attention -- like her ankles were -- but otherwise she really likes it.

  2. I tried the L'oreal a few years ago because my legs were so pale... it worked okay, my legs looked amazing... but my hands, well let's just say I thought I had washed them afterwards, but obviously I didn't do to well of a job, because my palms were orange for a couple of days... so a little advice is to wash you hands very well afterwards:)

  3. I've used the Neutrogena Sun Fresh - I really liked it. I've never used L'Oreal, but I'm not a fan of any of their stuff.

    You may also look into getting a spray tan. Just make sure you moisturize and exfoliate properly and have a day to lay around (just about naked) and sweat free.

  4. I have done the self tanners. And I liked the results. I used a Neutrogena product. Not sure it that one you stated was the same or not but I liked it!
    I just used it on my legs. A lady told me how to do it. Shave the legs one day and then apply the next. So I suggest that you use a scrub to do your chest and shoulders and whatever else you want to do so that you are rid of all the dead skin cells... then apply the tanner. That way it's even and less likely to look "flakey". As I am extremely pale, I used the lightest tint. and layered it for a darker look rather than go all out oompa loompa overnight.

  5. I can't help you pick which tan lotion to use. But I can let you know that even if you turn snooki orange. I will still love you.
    I can't say I won't be making fun of you, but I will love you.

  6. do you have any kind of bronzer? like anything to make you tan? Even bare minerals or foundation? What you can do (get help from a friend for sure!) is darken up the light areas then blend with powder. I got Stila bronzer in last month's birchbox and it's helped me soo much with random tan lines recently.

    OOH go to Kohl's. This is my cheap-o tip of champions. the employees aren't on you like when you play with makeup at sephora or ulta. you can put on EVERYTHING and no one notices or cares. I am sure they have some bronzer or dark foundation out to sample. try it this weekend with a friend and see if that works. GL!

  7. 2 weeks in sardinia and when I take off my bikini it looks like I still have one on... good thing I wasn't wearing straps on my top the last 2 days.

  8. I have tried it and used a peeling before I started. And I washed my hands a couple of times when I was done because I did not want to have orange hands.
    Good luck!

  9. Well I have far too much experience with lame tan lines, and absolutely zero experience with tanning lotions. Just letting you know that I feel your pain. Lol

  10. weeelllll allthe girls with money over here use this stuff called st. tropez. Its supposed to be the best. Pricey but worth it. tanning lotion is HUGE over here since people love to look tan but they are irish, pasty, and there is no fucking sun. ever. I gave up about 2 years ago and have adopted the albino chic look. blargh. Best of luck with the tan lines! (and ps thats the super cute target dress...I wanna see the whole thing!!)

  11. haha, i'm sporting one of those lovely tan lines myself since my recent padre trip over fourth of july weekend! >.< let me know how the tanning lotion works -- i've never tried it before! good luck..xo


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