Monday, July 9, 2012

I'm Not THAT Fat, It's Just The Photo...Right?

If this post was being written last week it would be full of happy go lucky bullshit about being in a really good place with my body. Today? Not so much.

It's funny what a couple of really badly lit, bad angle photos, and a not so flattering outfit can do you to your self esteem. Fucking facebook.

Over the weekend a family member posted photos of our Vegas weekend on FB and to say it appears that I've got more lumps than cottage cheese would be an understatement. For reals, it looks like I'm the marshmallow man, or at least ate him. 

Of course, being in complete denial I did the 'smart' thing & asked Rusty to look at the photos and tell me if I was really that BIG or were they just bad photo(s)? Poor dude, he didn't stand a chance of winning here.

He took one look & said "well, they're definitely not good photos," which to my crazy woman brain meant "you're a fat ass who eats everything in sight so yes you look exactly like that."

He tried to make things better by reminding me that the camera adds 10 pounds but realistically there would have had to be about 4 cameras on me at that moment to make me look that rotund. The sad truth is I have let myself go. A lot.

I rack diciprine. Eat whatever I want. Never ever exercise. Sit a computer 10 hrs a day for work & then go home to lay in bed until it's bedtime. I'm a sloth & I'm beginning to look like one.

A really large one.

Rusty's been too nice to say something but I see it now. Too bad I couldn't see it 20 pounds ago. So, now it's time to get shit done & get rid of these excess tires. Since I can't even afford to buy new shoes at the moment, liposuction is pretty much out of the question so I guess it's time to cut out all those delicious hamburgers & french fries. Maybe even get my lazy ass to the gym a couple times a week since I've been paying the membership for the last 3 years.

I'm also giving thought to starting that Herbalife stuff. My younger brother & mom did it last year & they lost about 10 pounds in a month...sounds good to me! And before all the healthy people start getting all preachy on me, I know this isn't going to solve my fat problems. I'm completely aware I have to change the way I live, but losing 10 pounds? Now that's what I like to call a great way to fucking start.

What do you guys do to keep the fat monster away?


  1. I have done the herbalife thing and am tempted to go back on it again. I was losing 5 lbs a week! Seriously (and I'm like a sz 10 so it was showing up making me skinny fast!) Then of course I got lazy... I didn't ever want to wash my blender and the shakes got gross to me. But there are shake stores ALL OVER! here's my link that I have tons of recipes with I created. Let me know if you go on it and we can be herbalife friends :) I realllly need to go on it too. for real. http://www.lovelylifeofleah.com/2012/03/healthy-shake-recipes-part-1.html

  2. Hey, want to tackle this weight issue together? We could be each other's support and see how far we can go.

  3. I know the feeling. I have tried so hard to figure out this whole weight thing but it just keeps going down the shitter - damn genetics/growing up/delicious food/comfy couch! LOL - it's okay girl, we will figure it out eventually :)


  4. I use myfitnesspal, which is a calorie counter. I also started walking every day at lunch. Then I started Zumba. Then I started running. I was at 20lbs down before the wedding this weekend. The scale is showing I gained about 2 back, but I think it's mostly because I'm dehydrated. Counting calories doesn't work for everyone, but it def has worked for me.

  5. Paleo. I swear by paleo. I'm about to hit a month and have lost 10 pounds without even lifting a finger. It's nice, too, because before I went paleo I ate a whole pack of oreos without even blinking. Now, I CRAVE watermelon and cringe at anything that is even shaped like an oreo. I always tried 'diets' beforehand, but this is nice because I don't even have the wiggle room to WANT to eat sweets (because I know once I have that 'cup' of ice cream I just eat the whole damn thing) but I also have my tastes change. I am full a lot of the time but not of bad things and I don't feel guilty when I eat. It's nice!

    I'm not preaching, though. I know how hard it can be and how paleo is not for everyone. Something else I've also lost weight from is the Couch to 5k app. I LOATHE running but this is good because you don't run full-out for a long time (it's a combination of running and walking) but you still get a half hour of cardio in without pushing yourself further than you really can do. I did it last summer and clocked under 30 minutes at a 5k after training for a month! It was amazing especially because I hadn't moved like that for about 2-3 years.

    Just my two cents :) I'm not the best at losing weight, but I know the feeling! :)

  6. I so identify. It sounds like everyone is in this with you!

  7. So. Before I go all preachy...:) (I won't, promise.)
    It's diet. I'm convinced that losing weight/getting where you want is 95% diet. I've done the Special K diet (in times of desperation) and if you stick to it, it works. I call it the starving-yourself-diet because I always feel like that's what I'm doing, but it works and, hell, I'm no nutritionist. I highly recommend Weight Watchers. That's how I got my weight under control in high school. I lost 20 pounds over a year or slow just by paying attention to what I was eating. Exercise didn't even factor in. I work out now because I like how it makes me feel, but I've gained weight (in muscle) in the last few months so I don't even get on the scale.
    Also, if you don't eat out, you save tons o' money.
    I don't count calories. I just pay attention. I usually give into cravings, but I make up for it somewhere else.

  8. I feel you sister. I do that same things (eat whatever I want, don't exercise) and feel like I could stand to lose at least 10 lbs. I need the motivation to lose weight, though.

    I think it's all about your mindset on losing weight. Set your mind to it and I know you can get it done! I've heard myfitnesspal was really good- I had a friend lose over 30 lbs in a few months with that. :)

  9. I'm feeling the same at the moment! I'm generally a small person, so as soon as I do put some weight on it's obvious! I don't like excerise, I love eating sweets, and I like sitting in front of the TV and watching movies! I also have couch to 5K app, and droped out after 3 weeks! I need to be motivated! And I need to actually get off my ass and do something!

  10. "I rack diciprine" made me laugh out loud. Seriously.

    I have totally been there. I got a trainer to jumpstart my weight loss and stayed with him for 6 months. I only saw him 2 times a month, so it wasn't ridiculously expensive. And he kept me accountable enough until I could do it on my own.

    Find something you like and it wont feel so awful. I recently got into something called "Booty Barre." I'm obsessed.

    Good luck! You can do it!

  11. It's funny that you mention unflattering FB photos as your wake up call because that's EXACTLY what happened to me last year. I went to a wedding and danced the night away feeling DAMN SEXY only to see pictures of a whale wearing the same exact dress as me. It took a few moments to realize that I was that whale. Woe is me. I joined weight watchers, which I never really believed the hype about, and lost it all (and then some) in no time. I did it online so that I wouldn't have to face anyone at awkward weigh-ins and it was the best decision I've ever made!

    PS: remember that we are always our own worst critic!!

  12. If you try it and it works, let me know! I got stuck in a rut before the move & I'm having a hard time getting back into a routine. I've been walking 1.5-2 miles a day, & also considering starting Insanity, but I SERIOUSLY lack motivation.

  13. I think it's a great goal to try to live a healthy life. It makes it easier to stay on track - a healthy doesn't mean no fries and hamburgers (thank goodness). Thinking of it that may makes it easy for me. I've given up drinking coke and I no longer have unhealthy snacks at home. I keep the fridge stocked with lots of fruit, vegetable sticks and hummus, that way when I feel like buying chips etc I think about all the food I have and feel guilty because they need to be eaten before they go bad. I don't have an weight issues - if anything I probably need to put a little on, but I'm finding trying to be healthy to really work better than saying to myself 'no chocolate, no coke' etc...xoxox

  14. Feel your pain. I look like I ate a PERSON. My friend and I went to a MN Twins game, at the shiny new stadium, and for the first time EVER I noticed that I'm just a binge or two away from not being able to wedge my fat ass into a seat. And my boobs are HUGE, but in a big fat middle aged lady way, not a hot way.

    I lost 60 lbs. 6 years ago, when I was going through separation/divorce, I don't recommend that. But what did work for me then, which I SHOULD do now,is writing down every single thing I ate (and drank..holy crap is booze fattening). Plus I made exercise a huge priority. Every single day.

    I think that's the magic trick, quite honestly, eating better and moving more. But here I sit, with that 60 lbs. back, plus some more. It's awful. I don't even make eye contact with my fat self in mirrors anymore.

    It might be time for Weight Watchers...if I'm paying $$$ every month maybe the frugal bitch inside of me will trump the hungry one.

  15. So, I was going to sign up for this local women's bootcamp thing because my fat pants are getting too tight (ugh). Until I had to shell out all the bones for my horse. Guess I'll just have to stay fat for a while long...

  16. I started running on the treadmill and lifting weights at least three times a week. I am also trying to cut out carbs and not eat junk all the time. I don't think it's helping all that much because I keep drinking beer.

    But exercising is making me feel good. Once you start and plow through it, you will feel better about yourself and will want to continue to work out. The hardest part is just getting there. If you have been paying for a gym membership, you should use it. Now is the best time since there is nothing on TV to watch.

    Good luck! (btw, my BFF also swears by Paleo)

  17. Write eveything you eat and every bit of exercise you do down. These sites are ace...



    Honestly, it really helps!


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