Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Cross Me & Your Ass Will End Up On The Web. Literally.

Road rage is a no-no in my book.

Especially when it's not me who has it.

Cutting me off, not using your turn signal, following too closely, and honking your horn for no goddamn apparent reason makes me want to throw a paper bag filled with steaming dog feces at your head windshield.

The key is to remember is that we all have somewhere to get to and the best way to get there alive & without dog shit on your head windshield is to follow the rules of the road.

Well, someone didn't follow those rule the other day & so they're now feeling my internet wrath.

I was on my way to exchange something at Starbucks and I was about to make a right hand turn onto a 2 lane street when a stupid car driving towards me decides it needed to get somewhere quicker than I did and put the pedal to the metal and cut me off (almost causing me to crash into them) instead of waiting it's turn.

Yeah, I totally drew this myself 
Now this particular street doesn't have a designated turning light so I had the right of way...but nope, not according to that asshole.

No lie, this turd monster was driving like a maniac in a residential area. Like any other driver with common sense, I laid on my horn to relay my enormous frustration & threw my arms up while yell "what the fuck, asshole!?" Needless to say they didn't give two shits that they could have caused an accident & continued to speed away.

I'm very aware I had a teeny case of road rage right then, please refer to the second sentence in this post.

Until of course we met again...at Starbucks.

That's right that idiot driver was a girl in her early 20's, apparently trying to show off how bad ass she was to her bar stool body boy toy. She didn't know I was the person who'd given her the one finger salute a few minutes before but I knew who she was (her shitty little white Honda Accord with pink Hello Kitty dice hanging from the rear view mirror sorta gave it away).

Oh, yes, I fucking did.

And because I couldn't get my revenge by slashing her tires that day, I do after all work for law enforcement, I am now posting a photo of her bad driver "ass", eating her too tight shorts.

Looks to me like her mouth wasn't the only thing in a rush to eat something. 

Petty revenge complete.


  1. Bwahahaha!! That's awesome! Seriously, why do people feel the need to cut people off? Like you're going to get their faster? I know I have my bouts with road rage from time to time too...so I'm not making excuses...but man...I LOVE this post!

  2. Haha, your post is awesome! :) And it reminded me of the song "Road Rage" by Catatonia. I am listening to it right this second.
    But yeah, I hate most other drivers so I know what road rage is. :)

  3. LMAO! I love it! That is so funny that the two of you were both going to the same place. She deserves to have her butt posted on the web.

  4. Sings "My ass is eating my pants, my ass is eating my pants. I'm a shitty driver 'cause my ass is eating my pants." ..... Trust me people it sounds way cool when I sing it.... I swear.

  5. Finally someone exposed these bad drivers. I love the fact that she has no clue who you are - just shows that she's one spoiled brat who probably borrowed her sister's car who wears the same style of shorts but tighter. She got what she deserves.

  6. Bahahahaha the picture you took! I hate crazy asshole drivers too.

  7. OMG. This. is. AWESOME. So many times Ive been the victim of crappy driving/road rage and always hoped for this kind of opportunity to arise. I hope she sees this!

  8. either your flash is too bright, but homegirl needs a tan!

  9. You're too funny. Today, a car came UP the on-ramp that goes to the highway. I was dumbfounded because the highway is divided by a 40 foot ditch. So I don't know how they even got on that side! I love that you posted her picture :)

  10. i also hate when people follow me too closely or honk their horn for no goddamn apparent reason - i really, really hate it! every time that happens, i wish i was a cop, so i would totally make them pull over and give them a ticket, but not before making sure to ask them tons of humiliating rhetorical questions about safe driving.

    it must be (so)... liberating

  11. 1.) Your graphic skills are top-notch. Care to assist me in blog designing? ;p

    2.) Lol!

  12. I will never want to cross you or get on your bad side!

    Looks like the girl has a severe case of hungry bum.


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