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Monday, January 23, 2012

Vanity, You Make Me Sink So Low


So...facial fuzz...total bitch to deal with, right?

I'm of course assuming all you guys have it or have had it.

Oh sweet jeebus tell me you have it too.

I know I'm not the first or the last woman to have to deal with it or pluck the shit out of her face or have to buy expensive smelly products to get rid of it's annoying ass but it sometimes feels like it. Also, what's up with those women on the street flaunting their beautiful hairless faces, don't they know I'm totally green with envy?

Yeah, I know they do it on purpose.

Could it be my Mexican roots, masculine-like hormones, thyroid condition or just plain bad hairy luck?

Whatever the cause may be it's there. All the fucking time.

So this weekend, when I was too lazy tired to smother my face in hair removal cream and wait the excruciatingly long 8 minutes for it to leave red splotches and hair patches all over my money maker I reached for something I swore I'd never reach for in my life.

There it was, perched up all nicely in it's charging station, green light glowing with it's eagerness to be used. Technically, it's to blame.

So yeah, I used it. So what?

Please don't judge too harshly.

I used...Rusty's hair groomer. Yes, yes I did.

It was quick, did the job nicely & I didn't have to deal with any burning sensation. As easy as it was though and as likely as I am to probably utilize it again, I couldn't help but see Rosanne Barr in the movie "She Devil" when I glanced up at the mirror.


Although, jeebus knows I wanted so badly to glance up & see the image of the glamorous lady up there on the right.

*sigh*

The awkward & shameful things I do in the name of vanity.


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6 comments:

  1. Dude. I haven't done that, but I've wanted to. I have to wax regularly, but I can't do it myself so I have to get it done when I get my hair cut and by then I look like I have Elvis worthy sideburns.

    It's embarrassing as hell. Damn me marrying for love. I should have married rich and paid for electrolysis.

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  2. Dude I just plucked the shit out of my chin last night. I was brushing my teeth and was all "DAMN my chin hair is long!" And then spent the next half hour making weird faces in the mirror and contorting my face to get the best light shining on those bastards so I could get them all. Also sometimes if Stuart rubs my face I fear he will feel the stabby chin hairs! Not cool facial hair, not cool.

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  3. I'm not all that hairy but I do have to deal with a mustache and chin hair. I have been told that using a razor will cause it come in heavier. So I have not used a razor on my face. I check every day for black hairs and when I have to go public I use sallyhansen hair removal. I've had people wax my lip but I break out so I do maintain it all my self. My mom used to work with a super cute young woman and she used to have to shave daily like a man. sad.

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  4. You know, I read in a magazine a while ago that shaving your face is a great exfoliant. Yes, for women. I'm sure they mean using a regular razor and not an electric one, but if your skin starts improving, you'll have the last laugh. ;p

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  5. Sneaky shit shows up on me sometimes. While I'm a natural (ugly color) blonde, after the menopause monster visited me kinda early...im blonde fuzzy on my lower cheeks.Drives me bats.
    I read an article that said Marilyn,Elizabeth and other noteworthy stars simply reached for the razor .This also sloughed off dead skin before glycolic peels were, um...invented?

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  6. Girl, I just tugged on a whisker on my chin! I'll have one or two random ones pop up, and I"ll have to get Rich to yank it for me. *lol* Drives me freakin'batty!

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