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Monday, August 29, 2011

This Weekend...


Something changed this weekend.

I don't know if it was the numerous gray hairs I noticed as I picked up my hair into a ponytail or the fact that 29 is creeping closer as the days go by but I felt old. Just for a moment.

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Buying a book and diving fully into it is one of the best things I could have done for myself this weekend. Going into a world that is someone else's and living it through words is as enjoyable as strawberry french toast.

I didn't blog, tweet or facebook all weekend and I as much as I missed it for about a millisecond, it was totally worth it.

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Aunt flow hadn't shown up when she was supposed to last month and at first I didn't give it much thought but when I started to notice how tired I was all the time (naps during the day are not my thing) & my bewbs started hurting the thought of being pregnant came to mind.

Tests were taken & all were negative. I'm not going to lie, when I sighed at the sight of the results it was out of relief but there was a tiny hint of a let down in there. 2 weeks later aunt flow was still no where to be seen.

But this weekend, while at the movies with Rusty I felt cramping and my heart fell a little.

She was finally here and for some reason or another I was sad about it. An emotion I definitely didn't expect to feel.

Could this be that I'm getting to the grown up 'wanting to parent' phase of my life or could it be that biatch flow just messing with my emotions again? *sigh*




Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the kitchen eating my mixed up feelings away. Come to me you beautiful ginormous bag of patato chips!

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5 comments:

  1. I thought you were quiet on twitter this weekend.

    Anytime Ive ever been late Ive always kind of felt sad when the test came back negative. I think its natural. Then again, Aunt Flo is a BITCH!

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  2. I know how you feel, after we started "trying" to get me pregnant I was both sad and happy getting a visit... but when the pregnancy test turned positive I was happy, but also a bit scared!

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  3. I hate not knowing what I'm feeling - but potato chips always help!

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  4. bah!!! sending you some serious hugs! i completely know the feeling, of the "relief" and yet...not.

    maybe you're getting more ready, than not ready...exciting!

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  5. Sometimes it is a relief to not facebook or twitter - but then the addiction kicks back in again:)

    It makes sense to be both relieved/happy and also a bit sad about Aunt Flo showing up.

    You may not be ready to have a baby, the timing or circumstances may not be right - and yet it's normal for hormones make you yearn for a Gerber baby commercial moment or five of your own:)

    Potato chips sound good.
    Have you reached for the ice cream yet ? I used to carve sugar and carbs like crazy at that time of month!

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