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Monday, July 11, 2011

Toys Aren't Bias, They're For Everyone

*Warning: This post includes adult topics*


It's 2011 and it still sometimes feels like the 1960's when it comes to talking about toys. No, not the toys you buy for the kiddos at Toys R' Us, I'm talking about the toys you buy for yourself.

For fun.

For pleasure.

Are you blushing? Some of you are and it's totally OK because this is my point. There's this stigma around saying adult toys are fun and pleasurable even though we all know it. I admit, I used to blush...sometimes I still do, but I no longer run from it.

As I've grown older I've learned that the things I was told that were bad aren't. Some of those things are actually good. Good for me, good for you, good for relationships and good in helping us grow to learn more about ourselves.

Not all people see it that way though.

The other day while watching a trashy TV talk show with my mom, one of the women on the show was ranting about how she thought it was wrong for her 30-year-old daughter to own an adult toy. I of course laughed it off and said she was nuts to even think she had a say in the matter when my own mom chimes in and says, "well, maybe she's a lesbian, that's why she has it".

I gave her a confused look and asked her how in the world she came to that conclusion since there was absolutely no hint that she was into woman.

Her response? "No girl would need 'that stuff' if she was into men."

I laughed out loud at her answer and then took it once step further by asking he what exactly 'that stuff' was? She of course tried getting around it so she didn't actually have to say the words but I knew what she meant, she was talking about dildos, vibrators & stimulators.

Then it donned on me...she probably didn't know any better. She was born into a generation where this sort of stuff was even more taboo than getting pregnant before marriage. But I wasn't. I was lucky enough to be born into a time where almost everything is socially acceptable, including living life to the fullest using whatever means you choose.

Which sometimes may or may not include toys...because regardless of what you or I may have been told they are indeed fun and pleasurable and they're certainly not just for lesbians.

Although, I'm sure they enjoy the hell out of them too.


FYI: I did school my mom on the fact that they are indeed not just for lesbians. I also advised her to Google some key words whenever she got bored. Just because she was born to an uptight generation doesn't mean she can't take advantage of ours.


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6 comments:

  1. i definitely was raised in a family where all this was taboo. my friends had always dragged me into an adult store and i usually look to the floor and well i was shy about the idea of thinking of using anything like this. it wasn't until recently my boyfriend explained to me that it was okay to look into toys and whatnot. you're definitely right about it making a relationship better and better for us as well.. lol and they're definitely not just for lesbians

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  2. Ya know, since I live in Texas and all, I'd probably be beaten with a Bible if I bought one of those lol.

    I don't know how you had that convo with your Mom. I would have just let things be...so go you!

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  3. EVERYTHING "sex" was taboo in my family. In fact, we never even had "the talk", my parents just let school take care of it for me! Hmm...maybe *that's* why I have issues....

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  4. I grinned at "I also advised her to Google some key words whenever she got bored. Just because she was born to an uptight generation doesn't mean she can't take advantage of ours."

    Imagine her face when she sees the Google results... LOL

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  5. My mom started selling toys when I was in high school all the way up until about a year ago, lol. So, neeldess to say, they weren't a big deal in our house - unless you talk about them infront of my dad, lol. :P

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  6. Thanks for this post, Lin! It's great to see like-minded ladies in the bloggosphere, and I think the first step to making everything related to sex less taboo and more open to conversation is to, you know, converse about it! I've talked to both my parents about sex, mainly because I have a bookcase of books on the topic in the spare room and I couldn't hide them all when people come over, even if I wanted to! Apparently both of my parents have bought books they came across at my house, and though we don't go into details (SOME boundaries are good!), I know they're both glad that it's not such a taboo topic anymore. I'm all for ladies finding "adult" toys - and stores they feel comfortable shopping for them in (either in person or online). Kudos. :)

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