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Monday, June 27, 2011

Moving Forward...Slowly...Like Baby Steps Kinda Slow


Saying goodbye to something that's been in your life for over 8 years can be hard. Hell, parting with something that's been around for only a few weeks is hard, just ask Rusty about how upset I was when I lost one of my favorite pens.

But, I did it. Last week I hiked up my big girl pants and said goodbye to my old pal birth control.

The decision didn't come easy. I had many internal battles with myself, cried, got angry at Rusty because he 'wouldn't just tell me what to do' and eventually just didn't refill the prescription when I swallowed that last tiny pill.

I'm sad & scared. Not to mention I'm pretty pissed I'll be seeing those old heavy flow pads again (yeah, I'm still an old school pad wearer, don't judge). I'm not sure that we're really prepared {financially} for a baby but I also now know that I don't want to go through life without ever having one or at least trying for one.

A few months ago my SIL announced she was pregnant & seeing all the fear that she once had about her flat stomach being ruined by stretch marks or having to squeeze a big headed baby out of your ho-ha just disappear once she heard that heartbeat somehow chipped away at the ice that was around my 'no baby for me' heart. To top it off I also found out one of my blog buddies is also pregnant & although her financial situation has changed a bit it hasn't stopped her once from enjoying that baby in her belly.

All of this...inspires me. It tells me that it'll be OK if our living situation isn't ideal or that Rusty only has a part time job (less money on child care!). Maybe it's age or just hormones but it's time for change.

Not right away though. We're talking baby steps here people. The pills may be gone but you can bet your ass we've stocked up on those handy dandy peen protectors.

Because after all there are still some downsides to this baby thing -->

And, honestly I dont know if I'm ready to part with my 9-10 hours of sleep on weekends. That's something that's definitely been around longer than 8 years.


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11 comments:

  1. babies are freaking scary...
    but they are even more freaking wonderful!
    good luck!

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  2. I know the feeling...We are contemplating number 2..after the pregnancy with number 1 i am freaked out about a repeat...as far as everything else goes the $$, the stomach, I mean is it ever the RIGHT TIME? Will there ever be enough $$...I mean you know. Good luck! And honestly hearing the heartbeat and then seeing them on the sono for the first time changes your whole outlook. Not for the hubby though its not "really real" until that youngin comes flying out of your vag. :)

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  3. You think you love oreos and sleep?? You don't know love until you hold your child the first time! Then it just keeps growing from there. Heck Lin, you'll love everything and everyone by the time that baby grows up! :)
    Seriously, I am sooo excited for you!

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  4. Good luck to you!

    It's absolutely wonderful being a Mama, that's all I can say. Worth every thing you think you're giving up, 100%, I PROMISE!!

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  5. As much as I love Vivian and as much as a hard time I had getting her here...babies are tough. I'm not talking about "rough & tumble"...I'm talking about "gee, she hasn't slept in hours and I need a nap!" lol But I don't regret or miss any of those missed nap times...sometimes, lol.

    Hey, we're still using peen protectors too b/c while I love babies, I am SO not ready for baby#2...or lemme catch up on SOME sleep first.

    Good luck!

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  6. Hey hey! Congrats on the next step, a baby step. Pun-INtended! I was kind of how you sound. There was never any 'Oh now is the perfect time to have a kid' kind of moment. Like you I was easing into the desire for change, but I wanted someone to tell me what to do, so Joe did. And for some reason I listened to him. As for the rest, well, you read my blog and are up to speed. I will say that while my own iciness toward babies has been slowly chipped away by hearing her heartbeat and seeing her on the screen, only recently have I felt more excited than scared about her arrival in Sept. In other words - shit gets cooler and less scary by the day. I look forward to following your journey!

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  7. Oh wow!

    Crossing my fingers for a slowly paced, perfect journey. You're gonna be fine. And hey, it'll give you something to write about!

    Good luck, friend!

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  8. It can be really scary, but I honestly wonder if anyone is ever REALLY prepared. When we found out, I was still taking birth control [hadn't missed a pill or taken it late] so it was definitely a shocker. Our financial situation isn't at it's best, but we make do the best we can. I wouldn't trade what I have now [or WHO I'll have in a few days ;)] for anything! Just go with the flow and things will fall into place.

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  9. Wow, that is a big step. I went off the pill almost four years ago because I got really sick and forgot to take them so I just stopped. And look at me, I am still without child. I was terrified about getting pregnant but to this day, we have not had much luck.

    It's a tiny step but it's the first step. Good for you.

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  10. So excited for you hun! Babies are amazing--lots of hard work, but AMAZING.

    This is coming from the girl who always said she'd have one...then it was two...and now we're up to three.

    xoxo & best of luck to you both on your new chapter in life.

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  11. Peen protectors! Lol!

    Good luck coming down off that nasty pill.

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