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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Perfectly Imperfect Body Issues...

*Warning: This post includes adult topics*


Being comfortable in my own skin is something I've always struggled with. Even when I was at my smallest (148 lbs, 2 years ago) I would look in the mirror and have the rolls that I thought I had pop out like some 3D feature. It was even worse when it came to sex.

The movies always portray sex as being so open, lights turned on or doing the deed during the day without caring one bit about the dimples on your bum or the rolls that gather in your midsection when you bend down. I often wonder if sex symbols like Betty Grable, Marilyn Monroe or Jane Russell ever had 'fat' days.

I mean, how in the world could anybody that looked like them have any issues with their body, right? The truth is real people...real women, often worry about this kind of stuff. At least I do. Especially now that I'm no longer 148 lbs but am instead a curvy 184 lbs.

Personally, finding lingerie has been as difficult as trying to find a great pair of jeans. Rusty's learned that regardless of how appealing something may look on the rack I wont even look at if it doesn't cover my midsection. Yep, that's my biggest insecurity.

Rusty says he doesn't care about the fact that I'm not sporting a 6 pack or even a semi-flat belly, he likes the fact that my thighs are little on the thicker side, and says he doesn't even notice that I have stretch marks even though they're pretty obvious (especially on my lower back)...but I do.

When we first got together it was so new that we used jump on each other within minutes but after 7 years, like most couples, we have to work at it to keep it new. I'm not saying we have problems in the bedroom but I'm not gonna lie, there have been dry spells caused by my insecurities.

We've worked through a lot together but this body issue is my issue.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to be completely comfortable walking around in only my birthday suit. Maybe I'm just not wired that way, but unless someones going to gift me liposuction I guess I better get used to this perfectly imperfect body of mine.

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(pinup photos via)

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8 comments:

  1. I love that you are brave enough to post pictures of yourself like that. I think you look great. Like a real person. Listen to Rusty, his opinion is the only one that should matter anyway.

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  2. i like this post. i love your honesty. i think most women, whether they're thin or not, have some type of insecurity issue/s of some sort - so you are not alone. i'm glad that your hubs sees more than the physical and that's obviously because of 7 years together and that's a great thing!

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  3. I think we all have the same issues. I am so uncomfortable with my body and it leads to some of the same issues you have. I think there are many of us that are very insecure about our body (or some part of it) no matter our size, weight, height, etc.

    Us girls need to learn to love our body no matter what but it's a difficult thing to learn. I am struggle with the fact that I have to be in a bikini in a week. I try to go to the gym and eat right but this tire around my waist just crept up on me somehow.

    I think if we support each other and encourage one another that we are all beautiful and we can lose that weight or motivate each other to go to the gym, we will all be a little happier.

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  4. Great post. Everyone has body issues but it is one of those topics that is not spoken of enough. You are beautiful, and your husband finds you beautiful so don't ever forget that!!

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  5. Like the ladies above said everybody has issues. I weight 120lbs and still see rolls and jiggly thighs. No matter what Hubby tells me. He's the only person I don't mind seeing me naked only because he's already seen me at my worst blown up like a balloon preggers. As long as he finds me attractive then the rest doesn't matter... it's my problem.
    Great post!

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  6. Wow this post couldnt have hit at a more perfect time. I have had my body issues on my mind all week. Its something thats so hard for me. I just look in the mirror and only see the bad and never the good! I love that you took a picture of yourself and I have to say- nice ass! :) I think I might link your post if thats ok!

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  7. As I sit here, munching on my carrot sticks, hoping that those 20lbs that I need to loose will melt off and secretly wanting a shake from I don't care where I just want one...

    I can totally relate & know that you are not alone. I think every woman can. Well, except for Kate Moss and she can go bite her skinny ass.

    What gets me who {Hollywood}is telling us that curvy, vuluptious, real sized women are not beautiful and we believe it? Bah.

    I personally think you look great. I wish my booty had that great lift :)

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  8. Awesome post. I personally don't think it matters what we look like - we're all insecure about it, no matter what. You look lovely. I love you shirt, and you have the cutest little toosh I've ever seen! :)

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