Monday, November 22, 2010

No Talking While I'm On The Pot

I have tons of pet peeves but one near the top of my list is bathroom etiquette. I'm really big on going to the bathroom & doing nothing else but disposing of bodily waste. I hate it when little chicks huddle in front of the mirror applying a 4th layer of makeup while raving about the hot guy they just saw outside of the local Dairy Queen while I'm parked in a toilet stall.

I don't care for grown women answering their cell phones while they're in the stall...you can let it ring & it'll go to voice mail or better yet, ignore the damn thing! Or that one lady that can't bother to bend all the way down to see if someone's in the stall but instead glares through the crack between the door & stall wall all pervy like.

But the worst thing has to be the "talker".

We've all been there. We've all encountered one in our lifetime & we all wish we could tell them to stfu so we can pee in peace (some of us may even have the cajones to do so, not me though cause I'll probably get beat up).

Today, I ran into a talker.

As soon as I opened the bathroom door I saw her, she was gluing on the last of her purple press on nails, and as soon as I laid eyes on her I wanted to turn around and run back out but it was too late, she had seen me.

It was my supervisor.

She's known around the office as {retired} Malibu Barbie and loves loves loves to make pointless chit chat with long awkward pauses in between. So being the nice girl that I am I said hello as quickly as possible & hustled it to the farthest stall (thinking that she wouldn't talk to me if she thought it was an emergency...stupid me). And, that's when she begins to not only ask me about my weekend but inquire what my plans are for Thanksgiving. I swear it's never taken me so long to pee...I believe I may have developed stage freight lol.

The worst part is that she continued to make mindless small talk even after I washed my hands and opened the bathroom door to exit. I think from now on I'll be going to the bathroom to 'pretend' wash my hands just to make sure the coast is clear. Talk about awkward...


  1. That makes me crazy too. Seriously, there should be a sign. No Talking, No Chatting, No Primping. It's a bathroom for crying out loud.

    I don't even want the entourage that insists on following me around at home, so what makes a person think I want to chit-chat about my Thanksgiving turkey dinner while eliminating this morning's breakfast from my system?

  2. I never have a problem in that department. ;P

  3. Gosh, I totally agree with you 100%, girl!!! Nothing annoys me more than people talking in the bathroom. My boss once caught me in the bathroom and started talking to me about WORK while I was pee'ing. It was practically a meeting.

    I don't understand why she couldn't just wait until I was done with the bathroom.

    So RUDE!

  4. I can't stand when people talk to me through the bathroom door!
    It happens a lot at work (co-workers talking to me about something) and at home.
    For some reason my hubby gets all chit-chatty when I'm in there trying to take care of business.

  5. What's weird is when people have conversations beside each other while on the can! or when people are talking to you while they're in the bathroom but you know they're in there because you can hear the echo!

  6. HOW ANNOYING!!! I saw your tweet yesterday and just giggled. I think I need to do another etiquette post on my blog for people like that! hahaha!

    I totally have a similar issue at work. We're not in stalls though, it's a single bathroom. And people will full blown stand out there and have a conversation with me. Dude, give me 3 minutes. That's it!

  7. I have this thing where I won't use the washroom if any of my co-workers are in there. I will seriously turn right around and wait.

    Washroom/restroom is private time!

  8. Still laughing at your update! Maybe your supervisor will see it and not talk next time you're in there.
    I have to admit to being guilty of answering my phone AND listening to the little teens talking about the hot guys.
    I promise though, if you and I are ever side to side in bathroom stalls, I will refrain from asking you about the weather!

  9. All the females at work know that if I am going to the washroom, that they are to wait until I am done because nothing makes me more uncomfortable than having company while doing something so private. I don't even go to the washroom with my girlfriends if I can avoid it. Talking to each other while peeing? I just don't get it. Even worse is when I hear someone talking on their cell phone (sometimes conducting business) while on the toilet! Rude!

  10. I HATE that. It's so gross. I hate hearing other people pee, I hate people hearing me pee, it's awkward and uncomfortable. And the only thing that can possibly ADD to that is having someone TALK to me while we are peeing. I die. My insides shrivel up and I actually feel violated. My mom tried this in the bathroom at Target recently and ever since, no matter HOW bad I have to go, if she tries to make a co-pee trip I magically just don't need to go anymore.

    *Dry heave*

  11. You are so correct-some things need to be done alone!

  12. I can't stand it when people talk to me while I'm going to the restroom. Awkward, indeed!

  13. LMAO!!! did you actually respond back while your supervisor was asking you questions? i don't like having company in the work washroom so i often just wash my hands & leave so i can come back for another time or when i see someone walk in before me, i just go back to my cube. lucky for me, my cubicle is just in the next hallway.

    i'm also not a huge fan of people that speak on their cell phones while disposing an bodily waste. it would be funny if their cell fell into the toilet at some point! haha.

  14. omg, yes! women in bathroom stalls gabbing on their cell phones. Really?!!!


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