Monday, December 21, 2009

I Wish I Could Heal Her

This weekend was not ideal. I wish it would have never occurred.

Friday went well, with the exception of a lot of running around. I got most of my Christmas shopping out of the way (only 2 left). But, Saturday was different.

Every year all of the girls in my (very large) family get together at my grandma's house & make tamales for our entire family to eat on Christmas, so we all gathered like normal at grams house & started prepping the food. My mom & two aunts had just left to the store to buy the corn husks & masa. I was talking to grandma about getting over my cold & she had said she was tired so I told her to go lay down.

Not more than two minutes later she laid down on the couch & I left to run an errand. I swear it wasn't more than 10 minutes that I was gone & as I pull up to my grandma's house my lil bro Seth say 'something happened to grandma'.

My aunt runs out of the house telling me to try calling my mom & aunts on my phone because the fire department & ambulance are on their way, my grandma was having a stroke.

I dont remember ever parking my car but I did & I ran inside to find one of my other aunts holding my grandma's hand & trying to keep her awake. My grams was slumped over to one side, had no movement on the left side of her body & could barely open one eye. It broke my heart.

Thank goodness the medics & firemen got there quickly & they were able to rush her to one of the largest hospitals in OC with the best doctors & students. After they admitted her we were able to see her for a few minutes but she was nothing like the woman I had had a full conversation with earlier that day. She was a shell, she didn't recognize most of us and was lost in her own thoughts.

I spent most of Saturday & Sunday at the hospital with her & she seems to be doing a lot better. She knows who I am & remembers some things again. She had a conversation with me about food & tamales (she says she cant wait to eat one on Christmas, ha ha) but she's still not fully herself yet. My M-I-L who's worked with patients like my grams said that it's definitely going to take time for her to regain most of her thoughts & memories back but she'll get better. I think most of our family has come to terms with the fact that she's not going to live forever (even though we wish she would) but it's still hard to witness that strong willed person that you've always known be so helpless.

I'm going to be visiting her on my lunch break today & I'm sure she's going to better today than she was yesterday but it still breaks my heart to see her so frail. I'm trying my best to stay positive & I act like it around her & my mom but I just thought I'd vent on here. I tried talking to Rusty about it a couple of days ago but every time I think about it I want to cry. He lost his grandpa a couple of years ago & I know he'd totally understand what I'm going through but I just don't think I'm ready to talk about it, out loud anyway.

We're hoping they'll let her out of the hospital for Joe & Bonnie's wedding in two weeks, even if it's just to go to mass. We'll see. However, I don't think she's miss that wedding for anything in the world. My grams & Joe have always had this bond & he's the only one she asked for when they first admitted her to the hospital. Needless to say, there was a ton of drama because she only asked for him & they let him in. I really don't care who she asked for (not just because he's my brother), as long as she's alive.

My grams favorite bird.

(BTW, if you're reading this Rusty, thank you for being so patient & giving me the time to be with my grandma. You're the best.)


  1. I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. I know mere words can't make it better, but I am sending lots of good energy your way and your grandma's!

  2. I'm so sorry to hear that Lin. I'll pray for her recovery so she can be at Joe's wedding! Keep your chin up,sweets.

  3. Oh Linny!

    I am so sorry to hear about this, especially since you have been sick and having bad luck with your car, etc on top of it - horrible timing (though no timing is good, really). My grandma raised me and died this past August - I think some people think that just because you have a Grandparent they are nothing more than an older member in your family, but it seems like you also know that they are SUPER IMPORTANT in your life and happiness! My prayers to you this week and to your grandma - it sounds like she is in good care and will recover from here on out, albeit with the help of time. Please let me know if there is any way I can help.

  4. I am sorry to hear that happened. I hope everything goes well and she gets better.

  5. Oh sweetie I'm so sorry!!

    I can relate... my grandpa is to me what your grandma is to you. He is my world. And who I named my son after. It was the hardest thing seeing him suffer his stroke. And it sounds like they got her to the hospital (Hoag?) right away so hopefully they were able to give the injection that reverses the affects. Be strong. Be patient. And mostly, dont give up. Dont take no for an answer. Dont let your grandma take no for an answer.

    I'm praying for you, your grandma, and your family.

    If you want to talk email me anytime.


  6. I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'll be keeping her in my prayers. {{hugs}}

  7. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma ~ you're all in my prayers.


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