Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I'm A Loner...

I've never had many friends. I've never thought of it as a bad or good thing. It's simply the way it is. I meet people, talk, hang out & maybe we become friends. Maybe just acquaintances. Either way is fine with me.

A while back I read a post that someone wrote (I cant remember who & I now wish I could) about her not being a very good friend. As I read the post I thought 'oh my gosh, this is so me'. Like her, I find myself very self involved, bitchy, stubborn & my life seems to revolve around Rusty & I. If
I'm ever invited somewhere I take Rusty with me or vice versa. We are each others best friends. I know some of you may find this pretty lame but I really like knowing that the man I married is my partner in everything.

I've had girl-friends in the past (past being the key word) & have lost them because I'm not the type of friend who will drop what I'm doing to go comfort you because your boyfriend broke your heart for the 18th time. Some people are just too needy for me to take on. I know...I'm not a good friend.

A couple of years ago my best friend from high school invited Rusty & I to her engagement party. We had already been on the outs because I had misplaced her number & never called to tel her I had gotten engaged 3 months earlier (touchy girl). I had accepted her invite since I thought
it would be nice to see her after a year but the day of her party we got stuck in traffic & decided to turn back since we'd be about 3 hours late anyway. I called her a few days later to explain but she wasn't having it. She called me a flake, a bad friend & said she's prefer me to not call her again. I was hurt & thought she was seriously over reacting but gave her what she wanted. It's been 4 years.

Since then I haven't had anymore 'friends' but I have had several acquaintances. And, even though I've tried to steer clear of needy people & getting too close it so happens that it's not always easy to do so. This entire post came to be because of a text message I received this afternoon. I was on my way home when an old co-worker of Rusty's/semi-friend of mine asked if we'd moved. I responded by saying yes & she kept making small talk by as
king question about my job & if Rusty has found employment. It was nice to have someone seems genuinely interested in how we were doing. Well...I should have known better.

After some small talk she finally got to the point. She wanted something. Something from me. I was mad. I thought for sure she really wanted to know how we were but in reality she wanted me to get Joe (my cop brother) or a friend to write off a ticket she received. Ugh..the nerve. I haven't spoken to her in over 8 months & she asks for this. Well..sucks for her because there are very few people I do big favors for & I'm sure not going to possibly get someone in trouble for her. She got the ticket & she should have to pay for it. I did...and it cost me $456. Live & learn.

The moral to this lengthy post...I'd rather have no friends except for Rusty than to have to bu
y or give things in return for their friendships. I'd rather stay a loner because in the end I still have you guys. I have to say that thing I love most about blogging is the fact you guys ask for nothing in return. This is definitely the type of friendship I could get used to :)

On a separate note, for the past 3 days I've been watching this new mini-series on AMC called The Prisoner. This show is seriously amazing! I'm a huge fan of books like 1984, Fahrenheit 451,
& The Giver & this show is just like them. If you've found any interest in those two books I really really suggest you tune in.

I love that the tag ling is "You only think you're free"

The show stars Ian McKellen, Jim Caviezel, Ruth Wilson, Hayley Atwell, & Lennie James. Want to know about the show? Sure you do.

In November, AMC will present The Prisoner miniseries, a reinterpretation of the British 1960s cult hit series that starred and was co-created by Patrick McGoohan.

The Premise : A man, known as Six, finds himself inexplicably trapped in The Village with no memory of how he arrived. As he explores his environment, he discovers that his fellow inhabitants are identified by number instead of name, have no memory of any prior existence, and are under constant surveillance. Not knowing whom to trust, Six is driven by the need to discover the truth behind The Village, the reason for his being there, and most importantly -- how he can escape. (courtesy of AMC.com)

According to Wikipedia, the mini-series is only 6 episodes long (I've watched 3 so far). AMC will be playing the first 3 episodes again on Sunday, November 22 if anyone's interested. For more show times click here or if you just prefer to read a summary of the episodes click here.


  1. Though I have a couple of good friends that I've developed over the last couple of years, I've spent a lot of years being a loner in "real life", too. I just don't have time for the level of drama that some people bring to the friendship table. And if they only call when they need something, then they aren't real friends at all.

    I'm another person who does almost everything with her husband :O) Mr. B. is my best friend. I think that's what makes a successful marriage!

  2. We're definitely tuning in! That show sounds right up our alley. The Giver is one of my all-time favorites.

    I know exactly what you mean about "friends." It's so frustrating to be friends with such shallow people. When we moved here, I had already decided that I wasn't going to waste my time forging any friendships since we wouldn't be here long. I have a small group of people I hang out with, but they're more like acquaintances. And Cliff really and truly is my best friend. We do everything together. I don't see a thing in the world wrong with that, though, so just keep enjoying BFF status with Rusty! :)

    PS: That girl SUCKS. Blow. her. off.

  3. I vote for throat punching that girl. But then again I'm a little violent today. Not really violent... like I wouldn't really kick my employee in the head. I just really really want to. {sorry, got side tracked}...

    Anyways, we used to have a close group of friends. It was "the gang". My husband had gone to HS with these guys and they married and we all became friends together. Well, as many women are, they turned into catty bitches and basically I became the target. Without any hesitation from my husband he just severed ties. Do we miss them? Sure. Do we miss hanging out, watching movies? Sometimes. But through it all... we're stronger. We have a group of friends now. My husband has worked with them for 10 years now. But we dont hang out with them every weekend... we dont call and shoot the breeze. I have my husband for that. I think that's what makes my marriage successful... and it sounds like that's what makes you and Rusty.

    At the end of the day I married my best friend, my partner in crime, the single person who can finish my sentences and know my deepest darkest thoughts.

    *cheers* to being loners and loving our bloggy friends!

  4. Lin, That show the prisoners looks SO good!! I need to see if I can get my hands on that!

    and the friend thing...you know I think a lot of it has to do with where you are, in relation to where your friends are. I recently had it out with a girlfriend that called me all of those things...meanwhile she forgetting that I was having the biggest crisis of my entire life at the time. Since then we have smoothed things over, but she did say things that are very hard to forget and things are just different now.

    I think as you move and grow in life you are able to find people that fit into your lifestyle and who understand your lifestyle better than others. I have another friend I met in college and we are that way. We just naturally seem to understand where the other one is and it's alright. We always seem to pick up whereever we left off.

    You might be surprised to find more friends one day who "fit" better than previous ones did.

    But users are never good. I hate the call from friend's that you haven't spoken to in a while..all to find out they want something. Its annoying.

  5. Um, I am with you on the LAMENESS of that "friend" who only messaged you to get out of a ticket. Not only does that require some nerve, but I now WANT to see her pay the ticket for being a MOOCHER! Ugh, I hate people like that.

    The more I have grown, moved, learned, aged, etc, the more I have parted ways with most of my friends, not because I don't like them, but because we move on and change and grow. I am learning that it's not about quantity, but quality. I will take the later over the former any day.

  6. I don't like "friends" like that either, that just want you for something . . . I had a friend that once, she and I had lost touch, a couple years went by, she called, we had a nice conversation and she ended it by asking if she could borrow $1000, she was going through a hard time. I had to decline, I need that money too, and she told me that I was no longer her friend, I was dead to her. Um, OMG! Seriously, no skin off my back, with friends like that . . . ???!!!!

    My life is pretty much all about me & my husband too, since he's my best friend, and our boy :)

  7. I feel like I just wrote this post. I had always been the "nice" friend. Wouldn't call people out for what they were, etc.

    After this past Halloween and being the dumped on friend {you know, the one that only gets called when the person's plans fell through, etc}, I'm done. I hate getting treated like crap and only being there when someone wants something or has nothing "better" to do.

    I guess I'm a bit of a loner then, too? But that's okay. I love my family--and I love my blog friends. Y'all are my true friends :)


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